199 Comments

I am so grateful for your writing and being a subscriber to reading every word of yours! May I quote you on Goodreads? You wrote something in an earlier essay that leapt out at me and I'd love to share it in the quotes section of Goodreads.

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Lydia, I can so identify with what you are dealing with. I, too, struggle with lack of patience, and it seems that I am angry for so much of the time now. But I have to continually remind myself that anger is a form of grief, so I need to grant myself a measure of grace. The Long Goodbye is certainly an appropriate name for what we are going through, isn't it. Blessings on you and your husband.

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I found it! I’m still trying to navigate this space, I’m not a writer by any means.

Mona, Thank you for your kind words and thank you for saying you’re angry. I’m angry almost every day, I keep waiting to move to another stage, but it’s just anger. I lost both my parents recently and I just can’t seem to find any joy. I think there are a lot of people feeling the same way. 💙

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Oh, Connie. Had to wait a bit before I could comment. My husband of 42 years passed just last November 2. I really don't recall a Valentines Day without him. What I DO recall is we said I love you daily and I feel that lack deeply now. I wear a silver bracelet he had made for me, engraved with LYTMOTWWPYKW, the way he signed emails to me for years. Translation is "Love you the most of the whole wide peoples. You know who."

Love your writing.

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A bit older than you, Connie. Long marriage ended in divorce. Took several years learning to live with me. Eventually took a chance on ruining a dear friendship. No iceberg. Still grinning after some seventeen years of sharing this space.💙💙💙❤️❤️❤️

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You had me at the title. And you kept me right through to the smudgy hearts. Beautiful. Thank you.

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Hi Judy. I am juggling between sub stacks, Blue Sky and FB myself.

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I always love your posts but this one really hit my heart.

I lost my husband to brain cancer over six years ago at the age of 58. I reached a point where I started to date, but didn’t really think I could ever find my “second love”…

To my surprise I did…last summer a widow reached out and we now find ourselves rather amazed that we not only found each other, but that the heart can indeed grow and allow another person into it. It’s scary, we know the heart ache of loss, but we also know life is short so we are grateful to have the good fortune to have found each other and appreciate each moments.

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Thank you for this. I’m 56, divorced after 27 years of marriage and stories like this make me hope that there may be the right person out there that can be my partner to grow old with. If not, I have a circle of found family that I love and who love me.

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30 years ago I was one of a group of four 40-50 year old women, 2 divorced, 2 never married, who decided to build happy lives doing the things we loved to do without a man. I am delighted to report that we all have been ecstatically married to men who love us and enjoy our lives together. Stop looking. Start enjoying. You will love your life, whether that man shows up or not. If he does, it is especially wonderful.

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OMG that painting! So perfect!

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Thank you Connie for this uplifting story today. We are so blessed for you to share with us.

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The loveliest, thank you for this.

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Your writing just always make sense. Thanks you so much.

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What a lovely story. Isn’t it amazing how love shows up when you’re not looking?

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Thank you for this uplifting and hopeful essay. I love that you and Sherrod have each other.

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Truly, I do. Our story is of reconciliation. We were married at 25, it lasted 20 months. We met the summer after my junior year. I wish we could say we've been together ever since, but our hearts were melded together then. Eight years later, we did marry, but we were not ready.

We were divorced, separated for 23 years, married others. When I went to my 30th HS reunion, a friend challenged me to find him. He was a year ahead of me. I did, wrote a letter, heart pounding, carefully worded. He said when he took it out of the mailbox, he thought, "Uh-oh."

We began renewing our friendship in early 2002. By 2003 I was divorced but not because of him. He later divorced. We cemented our relationship in 2004, remarried in 2006, on that same date. We were both 52.

I am remarried to my first husband, now my "last" husband, almost 21 years!

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