Wow, here I am 10 days late reading your substack. I kept it knowing I would finally get back to you. I'm an artist and have put off my art for a year while I got so involved in my substack. I can't seem to do one without neglecting the other. Now I'm behind in my substack. This gives me much hope. I was only married for 8 years and had two children I am so grateful for. But, he was mentally abusive and I finally had to get a divorce. It was difficult, but the right thing to do. I didn't want my children growing up with parents who were no longer in love. And, he wasn't romantic. I never really knew a man who was. This many years later and even at my old age, I believe romantic love can still exist. I'm not looking, but I'm sad I didn't experience the freedom of sharing on an equal level. You are good mentors and your warm stories bring warmth and faith to all of us. Thank you.
I am so grateful for your writing and being a subscriber to reading every word of yours! May I quote you on Goodreads? You wrote something in an earlier essay that leapt out at me and I'd love to share it in the quotes section of Goodreads.
Lydia, I can so identify with what you are dealing with. I, too, struggle with lack of patience, and it seems that I am angry for so much of the time now. But I have to continually remind myself that anger is a form of grief, so I need to grant myself a measure of grace. The Long Goodbye is certainly an appropriate name for what we are going through, isn't it. Blessings on you and your husband.
I found it! I’m still trying to navigate this space, I’m not a writer by any means.
Mona, Thank you for your kind words and thank you for saying you’re angry. I’m angry almost every day, I keep waiting to move to another stage, but it’s just anger. I lost both my parents recently and I just can’t seem to find any joy. I think there are a lot of people feeling the same way. 💙
Please try to take your parents into your heart and soul and carry on for them. What would they want for you now? I know they don't want you to be sad. I know this world is a mess and I'm happy my parents don't have to live through this. My dad was a proud officer of the U.S. Navy in WWII. What is going on now would break his heart. He saw a lot of his friends die for our Country. We have to just create a space and surround ourselves with good people who understand. Try to join a few friends for weekly card games, or something. I'm a loner, myself, and you must have friends. It is so important.
Oh, Connie. Had to wait a bit before I could comment. My husband of 42 years passed just last November 2. I really don't recall a Valentines Day without him. What I DO recall is we said I love you daily and I feel that lack deeply now. I wear a silver bracelet he had made for me, engraved with LYTMOTWWPYKW, the way he signed emails to me for years. Translation is "Love you the most of the whole wide peoples. You know who."
A bit older than you, Connie. Long marriage ended in divorce. Took several years learning to live with me. Eventually took a chance on ruining a dear friendship. No iceberg. Still grinning after some seventeen years of sharing this space.💙💙💙❤️❤️❤️
I always love your posts but this one really hit my heart.
I lost my husband to brain cancer over six years ago at the age of 58. I reached a point where I started to date, but didn’t really think I could ever find my “second love”…
To my surprise I did…last summer a widow reached out and we now find ourselves rather amazed that we not only found each other, but that the heart can indeed grow and allow another person into it. It’s scary, we know the heart ache of loss, but we also know life is short so we are grateful to have the good fortune to have found each other and appreciate each moments.
Thank you for this. I’m 56, divorced after 27 years of marriage and stories like this make me hope that there may be the right person out there that can be my partner to grow old with. If not, I have a circle of found family that I love and who love me.
30 years ago I was one of a group of four 40-50 year old women, 2 divorced, 2 never married, who decided to build happy lives doing the things we loved to do without a man. I am delighted to report that we all have been ecstatically married to men who love us and enjoy our lives together. Stop looking. Start enjoying. You will love your life, whether that man shows up or not. If he does, it is especially wonderful.
I think your dogs and mine are in cahoots. Exactly the same tactics - I need to go out... where's my treat?
Wow, here I am 10 days late reading your substack. I kept it knowing I would finally get back to you. I'm an artist and have put off my art for a year while I got so involved in my substack. I can't seem to do one without neglecting the other. Now I'm behind in my substack. This gives me much hope. I was only married for 8 years and had two children I am so grateful for. But, he was mentally abusive and I finally had to get a divorce. It was difficult, but the right thing to do. I didn't want my children growing up with parents who were no longer in love. And, he wasn't romantic. I never really knew a man who was. This many years later and even at my old age, I believe romantic love can still exist. I'm not looking, but I'm sad I didn't experience the freedom of sharing on an equal level. You are good mentors and your warm stories bring warmth and faith to all of us. Thank you.
I am so grateful for your writing and being a subscriber to reading every word of yours! May I quote you on Goodreads? You wrote something in an earlier essay that leapt out at me and I'd love to share it in the quotes section of Goodreads.
Lydia, I can so identify with what you are dealing with. I, too, struggle with lack of patience, and it seems that I am angry for so much of the time now. But I have to continually remind myself that anger is a form of grief, so I need to grant myself a measure of grace. The Long Goodbye is certainly an appropriate name for what we are going through, isn't it. Blessings on you and your husband.
I found it! I’m still trying to navigate this space, I’m not a writer by any means.
Mona, Thank you for your kind words and thank you for saying you’re angry. I’m angry almost every day, I keep waiting to move to another stage, but it’s just anger. I lost both my parents recently and I just can’t seem to find any joy. I think there are a lot of people feeling the same way. 💙
Please try to take your parents into your heart and soul and carry on for them. What would they want for you now? I know they don't want you to be sad. I know this world is a mess and I'm happy my parents don't have to live through this. My dad was a proud officer of the U.S. Navy in WWII. What is going on now would break his heart. He saw a lot of his friends die for our Country. We have to just create a space and surround ourselves with good people who understand. Try to join a few friends for weekly card games, or something. I'm a loner, myself, and you must have friends. It is so important.
Oh, Connie. Had to wait a bit before I could comment. My husband of 42 years passed just last November 2. I really don't recall a Valentines Day without him. What I DO recall is we said I love you daily and I feel that lack deeply now. I wear a silver bracelet he had made for me, engraved with LYTMOTWWPYKW, the way he signed emails to me for years. Translation is "Love you the most of the whole wide peoples. You know who."
Love your writing.
Sweet
A bit older than you, Connie. Long marriage ended in divorce. Took several years learning to live with me. Eventually took a chance on ruining a dear friendship. No iceberg. Still grinning after some seventeen years of sharing this space.💙💙💙❤️❤️❤️
You had me at the title. And you kept me right through to the smudgy hearts. Beautiful. Thank you.
Hi Judy. I am juggling between sub stacks, Blue Sky and FB myself.
I always love your posts but this one really hit my heart.
I lost my husband to brain cancer over six years ago at the age of 58. I reached a point where I started to date, but didn’t really think I could ever find my “second love”…
To my surprise I did…last summer a widow reached out and we now find ourselves rather amazed that we not only found each other, but that the heart can indeed grow and allow another person into it. It’s scary, we know the heart ache of loss, but we also know life is short so we are grateful to have the good fortune to have found each other and appreciate each moments.
Thank you for this. I’m 56, divorced after 27 years of marriage and stories like this make me hope that there may be the right person out there that can be my partner to grow old with. If not, I have a circle of found family that I love and who love me.
30 years ago I was one of a group of four 40-50 year old women, 2 divorced, 2 never married, who decided to build happy lives doing the things we loved to do without a man. I am delighted to report that we all have been ecstatically married to men who love us and enjoy our lives together. Stop looking. Start enjoying. You will love your life, whether that man shows up or not. If he does, it is especially wonderful.
OMG that painting! So perfect!
Thank you Connie for this uplifting story today. We are so blessed for you to share with us.
The loveliest, thank you for this.
Your writing just always make sense. Thanks you so much.
What a lovely story. Isn’t it amazing how love shows up when you’re not looking?