I saw your article at random (and a few years after it came out) and thought it was of interest, I’m going to go back and learn more about what looks like and interesting site but this article caught home, so I thought I’d write which I never do. Writing these few years later I think is important to see what we were doing, thinking, feeling at the time and look at the same questions today.
Yes, this is a wonderful and honest portrait of the isolation that Covid inflicted, lost “events”. Your story about a triple major student who lost her father from Covid was touching and shows the resilience of an individual to rise past their circumstances in her way. Thank you for that. However… just a look at “today” and where the freshman class lost their first year of high school/college, the younger students lost more than a graduation, they lost a year of productive learning. No matter what your graduation ceremony looked like, people lost 2 years of learning.
I do think it’s great that in your classes everyone posts their name and face, but I also have various friends and family teaching high schoolers and College students now and all through Covid and they were lucky to get 50% video participation. Assignment loads were lessened to help kids “adapt?” It became normal and acceptable to hand in a paper a few weeks past the due date. That and the fact that for the high schoolers, teachers were not allowed to fail a student.
What I am hearing and seeing living near an urban college campus is really making me wonder just how much these kids lost, educationally, emotionally. I have found that so many kids are in college when they never really finished High School in the sense that there really was no “curriculum” (remember, assignments went down) and the few that showed up got the A’s and the other 25%-50% of the class that didn’t show got C’s because D’s and F’s were not to be given out as we all were figuring the “new normal”.
I understand the frustration of missing your graduation and all that goes with it. In the end it’s a ceremony, a way for parents to see their money went to a fine education, and a life event for the graduate, gown or no gown. I have been to many a “delayed multiple graduation ceremonies” and it worked out fine. So what worries me is that some of this leniency has transferred into late papers, assignment days with kids now in College. They “don’t understand why I need to write out note cards if I know what I’m going to write”. Well, most teachers (English composition in this case) ask for notes to be turned in be “X” date on syllabus, to see if the student is going in the right direction, to have drafts read by peers. Read by peers? Oh my no! That means engaging and working with others. Dates, assignments, workloads are all being called into question by the students as “negotiatable. Trying to engage a 23 year old is very hard these days. It feels as though not only workloads changed. Emotions changed. There is a disconnect, lack of a social filter around younger people. A lack of recognition of others, very concerned with themselves regardless of others.
I really think there is some sort of problem with the educational and emotional level kids have going into college today. Covid really did a number on us.
Once again you've given me something to think about, a way through the muck of life. In recent days, I realized that so many of us are dealing with "Life PTSD" no matter how much we tried to process the events of the last 7-8 years. Thank you for giving me a fresh perspective on how to see where I am based on where I was. And yes. At 67, I do, somehow, feel like I just got here.
Hi Connie, I wait breathlessly for your next column to arrive. And your next. And your next. I'm 81 & have written 8 non-fiction books on business networking. But I have NEVER taken a course on Opinion Writing . . . AND I'd LOVE too. Any chance you'd offer a version of your course to regular folks like me? I would love to be with you in that way. Do it by Zoom? (I live in Newtown, PA) Charge whatever you like. Please consider! I have so many opinions and would so appreciate your direction! Thanks, Lynne
Thank you for writing this and sharing some of these stories. I think sometimes we rush past the reality of how many ways these young people were impacted by the pandemic. They experienced a lot of losses and missed out on so much. I remember once during the pandemic when my husband and I were at Costco. This woman and her son refused to wear a mask. I am a visual person and I thought to myself how beautiful their faces were. The hunger for connection and community was very impactful. I know the pandemic robbed people of all ages of loved ones who died durring that time, including some of our family. My nurse friend is still traumatized by all of the people she saw die alone at the hospital. There's a very inhumane element about all that happened. Your article was very good.....thank you.
Thank you for this, Connie. You are a national treasure, & I'm so grateful that you are a teacher -- what a gift to the world the way you buoy these young adults!
My family's story is echoed in much of what you wrote about your students, & I really needed the lift that your words provided. Many, many thanks.
I thank you, Connie, for so many reasons. My oldest granddaughter was a freshman in college when everything shut down for Covid. She was able to go back the following fall, loved and participated in her sorority, made Dean’s List every semester - and yet pushed herself to graduate a semester early, so she could start work on her Master’s Degree (which she achieved online). It breaks my heart that she’s in such a hurry to start her adult life that she missed out on the full college experience. Reading your post makes me wonder if her path might have been different were it not for the disruption of Covid. Thank you for your always wonderful, thought provoking writing.
Bonnie, some students are in a hurry, which can confound those of us who see this as their last chance to take their time. Have you asked your granddaughter why she wanted to graduate early? Might be an enlightening conversation.
Dating the same young man, who is now her fiancé, for the past seven years probably has a lot to do with it. The fact that neither of her parents had a college experience probably also factors in. They paid for her college and I’m sure her dad was happy to have one less semester to cover. On the other hand she took out loans to pay for her Masters (which she needs in NJ to be a School Counselor) herself.
Our oldest grandson is a Covid kid who missed out on his senior year. He is in a 5 year architecture program so not graduating this year. But all his friends, fellow Covid kids, have made it through college in 4 years. My daughter thinks this is because they didn’t have all the social distractions during their senior year and as they started college. I don’t know if that is the sole reason, but I am so proud of my grandson and all of the class of 2024.
This is beautiful. I teach mostly grad students but this year’s graduation season at my University (Maryland) had many special events that the undergrads missed as incoming freshman in fall 2020. It was sweet to read about. It’s so true that these young people are fierce, determined and optimistic - even with (or because of?) all that they’ve been through. It makes me so angry and sad to think of callous employers ordering these kids not to wear a mask. 😢
My son was in kindergarten when Covid hit. He had finally become a “big kid” allowed to go to school, meet new friends, and every day he would come home full of joy and excitement. A new story of a new friend, a funny experience with the PE teacher, something silly the principal did during assembly. His eyes would sparkle when we woke up in the morning to get ready for school.
By mid 2021, my now seven-year-old would say things like “Mom I don’t know if I want to be here anymore.“ He didn’t even bother to learn the names of the kids on Zoom. His eyes became almost lifeless, and he went from having the normal energy of a young child to spending hours staring *past* the TV.
As an only child, with parents who both are estranged from our families, the isolation (and result of that isolation) he endured as a boy barely older than an infant was horrifying to witness.
I know some people try to shame parents that allow their kids to do so much gaming, but I can tell you it literally saved my son’s life. We were finally able to connect him with kids he had met in kindergarten, because the school suddenly realized if parents had each other‘s phone numbers, we could get them to talk to each other outside of structured class zoom calls.
Covid was so so hard for adults… but there is a reason our children are willing to fight so hard for each other. They watched adults fumble this in such epic ways, be flippant about the high potential of dangers to others, and disregard any potential emotional trauma they were dealing with.
And when they finally were allowed to return to school and be with their friends, their lives were put in danger constantly, yet again, now by grown men with metal sticks and a society that cared more about the second amendment than an entire generation of children.
They have a level of strength, empathy, and humanity that is unprecedented. They could have chosen the worst path, and we would have no grounds to blame them for it. But instead, they are standing strong with one another, no matter where they are located on this earth. And it is so beautiful.
The only people shaming parents are the ones who know nothing about it. Your child is fortunate to have a parent who could let go preconceptions and see that the kids are figuring it out their way. I agree with you. ❤️
I often wonder what impact the pandemic will have on my nieces (five of them, all under 11 years old). I can’t say I notice any effects, but that early nursery/schooling done in isolation must surely have some kind of effects; where or when they will show is the bigger question.
Stephen, early schooling in isolation can affect social development, but kids are also remarkably resilient. Have you noticed any changes in how they interact or learn?
I would hate to have done high school during COVID. doing my last 2 years of uni was bad enough, and i ended up dropping out and falling into several psychotic episode!
Oh this hurts. My sweet daughter graduated HS in 2020. Covid robbed her of so much. She is struggling now to find herself, to regain the confidence she had in 2019, to become a good student again. She has told me she feels like she is still 18, and that for the past four years her development - academic, social, personal - has been frozen. She sees her friends graduating college and celebrates their achievement but mourns her loss. Something inside her was injured by the losses of her senior year. She’s trying so hard to heal.
I saw your article at random (and a few years after it came out) and thought it was of interest, I’m going to go back and learn more about what looks like and interesting site but this article caught home, so I thought I’d write which I never do. Writing these few years later I think is important to see what we were doing, thinking, feeling at the time and look at the same questions today.
Yes, this is a wonderful and honest portrait of the isolation that Covid inflicted, lost “events”. Your story about a triple major student who lost her father from Covid was touching and shows the resilience of an individual to rise past their circumstances in her way. Thank you for that. However… just a look at “today” and where the freshman class lost their first year of high school/college, the younger students lost more than a graduation, they lost a year of productive learning. No matter what your graduation ceremony looked like, people lost 2 years of learning.
I do think it’s great that in your classes everyone posts their name and face, but I also have various friends and family teaching high schoolers and College students now and all through Covid and they were lucky to get 50% video participation. Assignment loads were lessened to help kids “adapt?” It became normal and acceptable to hand in a paper a few weeks past the due date. That and the fact that for the high schoolers, teachers were not allowed to fail a student.
What I am hearing and seeing living near an urban college campus is really making me wonder just how much these kids lost, educationally, emotionally. I have found that so many kids are in college when they never really finished High School in the sense that there really was no “curriculum” (remember, assignments went down) and the few that showed up got the A’s and the other 25%-50% of the class that didn’t show got C’s because D’s and F’s were not to be given out as we all were figuring the “new normal”.
I understand the frustration of missing your graduation and all that goes with it. In the end it’s a ceremony, a way for parents to see their money went to a fine education, and a life event for the graduate, gown or no gown. I have been to many a “delayed multiple graduation ceremonies” and it worked out fine. So what worries me is that some of this leniency has transferred into late papers, assignment days with kids now in College. They “don’t understand why I need to write out note cards if I know what I’m going to write”. Well, most teachers (English composition in this case) ask for notes to be turned in be “X” date on syllabus, to see if the student is going in the right direction, to have drafts read by peers. Read by peers? Oh my no! That means engaging and working with others. Dates, assignments, workloads are all being called into question by the students as “negotiatable. Trying to engage a 23 year old is very hard these days. It feels as though not only workloads changed. Emotions changed. There is a disconnect, lack of a social filter around younger people. A lack of recognition of others, very concerned with themselves regardless of others.
I really think there is some sort of problem with the educational and emotional level kids have going into college today. Covid really did a number on us.
This was already one of my favorite essays of yours, then you mention Vonnegut. That’s it, #1 essay.
Once again you've given me something to think about, a way through the muck of life. In recent days, I realized that so many of us are dealing with "Life PTSD" no matter how much we tried to process the events of the last 7-8 years. Thank you for giving me a fresh perspective on how to see where I am based on where I was. And yes. At 67, I do, somehow, feel like I just got here.
Hi Connie, I wait breathlessly for your next column to arrive. And your next. And your next. I'm 81 & have written 8 non-fiction books on business networking. But I have NEVER taken a course on Opinion Writing . . . AND I'd LOVE too. Any chance you'd offer a version of your course to regular folks like me? I would love to be with you in that way. Do it by Zoom? (I live in Newtown, PA) Charge whatever you like. Please consider! I have so many opinions and would so appreciate your direction! Thanks, Lynne
Thank you for writing this and sharing some of these stories. I think sometimes we rush past the reality of how many ways these young people were impacted by the pandemic. They experienced a lot of losses and missed out on so much. I remember once during the pandemic when my husband and I were at Costco. This woman and her son refused to wear a mask. I am a visual person and I thought to myself how beautiful their faces were. The hunger for connection and community was very impactful. I know the pandemic robbed people of all ages of loved ones who died durring that time, including some of our family. My nurse friend is still traumatized by all of the people she saw die alone at the hospital. There's a very inhumane element about all that happened. Your article was very good.....thank you.
Thank you for this, Connie. You are a national treasure, & I'm so grateful that you are a teacher -- what a gift to the world the way you buoy these young adults!
My family's story is echoed in much of what you wrote about your students, & I really needed the lift that your words provided. Many, many thanks.
And thank you for the link to Elaine’s post. As a former teacher, I loved her essay.
I thank you, Connie, for so many reasons. My oldest granddaughter was a freshman in college when everything shut down for Covid. She was able to go back the following fall, loved and participated in her sorority, made Dean’s List every semester - and yet pushed herself to graduate a semester early, so she could start work on her Master’s Degree (which she achieved online). It breaks my heart that she’s in such a hurry to start her adult life that she missed out on the full college experience. Reading your post makes me wonder if her path might have been different were it not for the disruption of Covid. Thank you for your always wonderful, thought provoking writing.
Bonnie, some students are in a hurry, which can confound those of us who see this as their last chance to take their time. Have you asked your granddaughter why she wanted to graduate early? Might be an enlightening conversation.
Thank you for your kind words.
Dating the same young man, who is now her fiancé, for the past seven years probably has a lot to do with it. The fact that neither of her parents had a college experience probably also factors in. They paid for her college and I’m sure her dad was happy to have one less semester to cover. On the other hand she took out loans to pay for her Masters (which she needs in NJ to be a School Counselor) herself.
Our oldest grandson is a Covid kid who missed out on his senior year. He is in a 5 year architecture program so not graduating this year. But all his friends, fellow Covid kids, have made it through college in 4 years. My daughter thinks this is because they didn’t have all the social distractions during their senior year and as they started college. I don’t know if that is the sole reason, but I am so proud of my grandson and all of the class of 2024.
This is beautiful. I teach mostly grad students but this year’s graduation season at my University (Maryland) had many special events that the undergrads missed as incoming freshman in fall 2020. It was sweet to read about. It’s so true that these young people are fierce, determined and optimistic - even with (or because of?) all that they’ve been through. It makes me so angry and sad to think of callous employers ordering these kids not to wear a mask. 😢
This is so beautifully written, and reveals a truly good person and thoughtful teacher. Thank you for this.
Thank you, Jean.
Thank you so so so much for this.
My son was in kindergarten when Covid hit. He had finally become a “big kid” allowed to go to school, meet new friends, and every day he would come home full of joy and excitement. A new story of a new friend, a funny experience with the PE teacher, something silly the principal did during assembly. His eyes would sparkle when we woke up in the morning to get ready for school.
By mid 2021, my now seven-year-old would say things like “Mom I don’t know if I want to be here anymore.“ He didn’t even bother to learn the names of the kids on Zoom. His eyes became almost lifeless, and he went from having the normal energy of a young child to spending hours staring *past* the TV.
As an only child, with parents who both are estranged from our families, the isolation (and result of that isolation) he endured as a boy barely older than an infant was horrifying to witness.
I know some people try to shame parents that allow their kids to do so much gaming, but I can tell you it literally saved my son’s life. We were finally able to connect him with kids he had met in kindergarten, because the school suddenly realized if parents had each other‘s phone numbers, we could get them to talk to each other outside of structured class zoom calls.
Covid was so so hard for adults… but there is a reason our children are willing to fight so hard for each other. They watched adults fumble this in such epic ways, be flippant about the high potential of dangers to others, and disregard any potential emotional trauma they were dealing with.
And when they finally were allowed to return to school and be with their friends, their lives were put in danger constantly, yet again, now by grown men with metal sticks and a society that cared more about the second amendment than an entire generation of children.
They have a level of strength, empathy, and humanity that is unprecedented. They could have chosen the worst path, and we would have no grounds to blame them for it. But instead, they are standing strong with one another, no matter where they are located on this earth. And it is so beautiful.
The only people shaming parents are the ones who know nothing about it. Your child is fortunate to have a parent who could let go preconceptions and see that the kids are figuring it out their way. I agree with you. ❤️
I was going to give it a like but then I saw 697 likes, 92 comments, and 40 restackes. It spooked me, and I ran away. xD
I often wonder what impact the pandemic will have on my nieces (five of them, all under 11 years old). I can’t say I notice any effects, but that early nursery/schooling done in isolation must surely have some kind of effects; where or when they will show is the bigger question.
Stephen, early schooling in isolation can affect social development, but kids are also remarkably resilient. Have you noticed any changes in how they interact or learn?
I would hate to have done high school during COVID. doing my last 2 years of uni was bad enough, and i ended up dropping out and falling into several psychotic episode!
Oh this hurts. My sweet daughter graduated HS in 2020. Covid robbed her of so much. She is struggling now to find herself, to regain the confidence she had in 2019, to become a good student again. She has told me she feels like she is still 18, and that for the past four years her development - academic, social, personal - has been frozen. She sees her friends graduating college and celebrates their achievement but mourns her loss. Something inside her was injured by the losses of her senior year. She’s trying so hard to heal.